er.. i dont think anyone will be reading this but i just feel like typing things away….
Basically im way more active on tumblr these days, partly because all the quotes etc srsly expressed my inner thoughts.
I found out im seriously emotionally dependant on someone.
it is like i want their total attention. I can die w.o them
Recently i just had a fight with one of my friends
I chose to quarrel as i dont realy like that aspect of my friend
But after 8 days? i gave in as i seriously cant stand the fact that i dont have anybody talk to. & it is impossible to see the change
I know my dear twitter friends are concerned about me
or even those who noticed my not so happy mood/face/gestures in school
Love u all.
S. I srsly hate you. U simply took everything away from me. I want to tell u that u r still sucking my happiness away. WHY R U COMING BACK TO BOTHER ME. i know u meant no harm *I GUESS* BUT SRSLY.
ARGHHHH
U are like a scar. No more pain BUT I always will rmb the pain inflicted.
WHY…………..why………why……………………………………
WHY was i so foolish that i placed TOTAL emphasis on you. WHY did i make such a risky investment in you.
Im too dumb. Now i’m srsly afraid. VERY scared that i will go back to the state that i barely walked out
R, WHY U SUDDENLY COME BACK ALSO. like WOAH u totally climbed up the priority ladder at an exponential rate!
like u are soo significant to me. That i think i will fall for you again. Geez thank god i didnt falll that deep.
But THANKS FOR DISAPPEARING AFTER BEING SO NICE TO ME.
SIGH
sometimes i really hate my own personality & character
i want people to care for me, but i seem to give absolute no hint that im hurt.
Or even if i rant on twitter i will just say im fine with a smile
whats with all the disguise, crying at night, loneliness?!
Y U SO DUMBFUCK ZHIJUN
i experimented sth.
that is to not initiate conversations with ppl.
& SADLY NOBODY GAF ABT ME.
my phone was FUCKING quiet. THAT IS LIKE SO FUCKING PATHETIC.
to the extent i dress up nicely to go out shopping alone
HOW NICE RIGHT
the popular social butterfly in sch caught shopping alone
major embarassment
GUESS WHAT. i lost all my connections in sec sch
IM LIKE PRACTICALLY A LOSER
it is like u see ur jc friends hanging out with their sec school mates
HELLO IM SO FUCKING JEALOUS
everything cannot be undone.
i caused all of these with my own hands.
i hope i can depart from the world. but they also wont give a shit
n srsly i know some of u care but it is hard for me to feel that.
You need hell loads of commitment to open me up
my walls are getting higher. thanks to all the damage i received.
Nobody knows what im going through, the emotion trauma.
im like totally neglected. Sister doesnt give a shit about me due to her hectic uni life
who do i have to talk to? WHO?! u all said u all will be there for me?
where were you all? Forever friends are bullshit
I treat you as my best buddies. but do i have that fucking equal placing in you? I DOUBT SO
W. we havent been talking for months
B. u are like on n off
J. sigh
R. you went missing .
M. i see you happily with others
G. u are busy……
i know i cant possibly monopolise my friends But…………
ARGHHHH IM SO UTTERLY DISAPPOINTED WITH SELF.
Why did i get so used to all the company that i cant survive properly once all these are taken away?
Am i taking them for granted?
GUESS WHAT? im totally not looking forward to my birthday
i most probably will be rotting at home. HOW AWESOME N PATHETIC LOW ZHIJUN FML.
& im crying like hell
